Holy Blank Page Batman or Coming to Accept My Stroke, But That's Not Too Uplifting Of A Title

They always say a blank page to a writer is the worst horror imaginable. Well, something like that. There was a time when that didn’t affect me in the least. When I sat down with my cup of coffee at the computer I could type  300-800 words in an instant. Nowadays, that doesn’t happen as much. OK, or at all. Perhaps that’s because as a society we don’t want to pay attention to someone’s finely crafted prose (or in my case whatever I happen to be rush-writing. Rush writing, adj.:  to hurry and write a blog post while at work so no one catches you).

You’re saying that’s an excuse offered up by me. But, there’s credence in it (I think that is the FIRST time I’ve used that word without following it with the words Clearwater Revival). It’s much easier to write a sentence joke or a meme and get a laugh. And memes contain pictures, which immediately captures the viewer like something written could never do.

I know in the last 10 years I’ve taken the meme route many times. It’s just easier. Like BBQ’ing on a gas grill as opposed to a charcoal grill. Even though gas grills give you NO taste. There’s something about wood smoke while BBqing that…well, that’s another discussion for another time. I’m really hungry right now. But it’s time to get back on board with doing actual writing, despite the problems I now face with writing.

Since the stroke there are NUMEROUS times I’d have to stop what I’m writing to look up a word (even a common word) on Google to finish my thought.  I did it in the second paragraph when I Googled “Rock band named Creedence). That’s not only time consuming, it really derails my train of thought. BTW, if you are looking for a band name, Derailed Train of Thought is available, if you pay me the finder’s fee of $50 or 10 percent of your royalties from your first 3 singles.

If that wasn’t annoying enough, I can only write with one hand and whenever I place my right hand on the mouse, I seem to erase stuff. Don’t ever use me as your editor. In addition, I make A LOT of mistakes in my writing now. Some can be solved with (I just had to Google: “autocorrect with MS Word” to find the word “proofing”) the proofing feature of your writing software. But other mistakes I make I actually have to figure out what I meant, which has always been a trying experience!!

Maybe all of these things will get better the longer I actually sit down and write. If you’ve never heard my “writing and sports analogy,” here it goes. Writing does to your brain what sports do to your muscles—with the exception of eating as a competitive sport. (I think all that does is make you a candidate for Levis stock. You know, because you have to keep buying larger pants sizes. Never mind…) What I’m saying is that you get better at writing and laying down your thoughts in a COHESIVE manner the longer you write.

So, that’s what I’ll be doing from here on out and you a free to enjoy  witness the horror ride with me. Though I will probably delete this post after I reread it tomorrow. Now I’m off to Google “what do you feel when no one reads a post you’ve spent a lot of time on…”