The Baby's Birthday

It's chaotic around our house lately. Painting, furniture moved from one room to another and getting rid of stuff, oh and BBQing. The last one doesn't really have anything to do with why it's chaotic, I just wanted to share. Why are things hectic around here? Lottie's first birthday! On Saturday, she will have been with us for an entire year!

It's hard to imagine where the time has gone. Of course I had a stroke half way through that, so it's been kind of a before and after situation. When I was in the hospital for 2 weeks, she really didn't seem like she remembered who I was. Actually the first month I was home I didn't get the feeling she knew me. Since then, that has changed. I've been home every day since and it has made us inseparable. She is my new best friend, always by my side and giggling and smiling. I never thought I would say this, but I change my best friend's diapers. Not a lot of people can say that. Actually not a lot of people WOULD want to say that. Wait, on a second thought, ignore all that diaper stuff.

On Sunday, we will have about 60 people over for a BBQ for her birthday. About 5 people I actually know. I'm kidding. Friends, family and neighbors will be joining us. Actually, you could count the neighbors under the friends column...I'm actually going to have family here that has never met her before.

We're getting a bounce house (for me and the twins). It will tough keeping other people out of it though. I have to uphold my record of knocking every bounce house down that I've ever been in. Of course for the twins 5^th birthday party the wind knocked the bounce house down. That was fun to watch. All these kids screaming running around because the bounce house was collapsing around them. By the term “fun,” I mean it was fun on the inside, on the outside I had to act like a caring parent.

Most people are attending to taste my BBQ goodness (at least that's what I am telling myself). Honestly, we're having hot dogs and brats, oh and grilled lobster tail. Well, I put it on the grocery list, but we shall see if my wife picks some up. I mean it is my child's 1^st birthday, lobster tail is a good way to celebrate...I mean for me, Lottie can't have any.

And the cakes...our friend is making monkey cakes. That's what we call Lottie. She squirms like a monkey and she has taken an interest in monkey things, including bananas. I really don't know what the phrase “monkey things” actually is, but we show her a monkey and she gets excited. Of course we show her scissors and she has the same reaction. On her birthday I will finally be able to give her the sock monkey that was made by Sari. She's is gonna love that!

Right now she is sitting on the floor beside me as I type this, smiling away. She's playing with her Zoe stickers from Sesame Street and a cord from our fan. You know what, I should go...

A Cup For What Ails Ya!

And by “what ails ya,” I am speaking of being tired.  I guess I should have typed “a cup for what makes you tired,” but I thought my title was more interesting.  What is he talking about?  I am talking about that first cup of coffee in the morning!  This post will be dedicated to COFFEE - that liquid that we can’t wake up to without each morning.

Actually, I am sipping from a cup right now.  It’s a manly cup of coffee – Cinnabon Bun flavored coffee.  But I’ve got a least 6 types in the fridge.  I’ve tried to share my coffee addiction with the family, but they all say it smells like crap or mud or anything else that doesn’t sound appealing.  I’ve even offered cash or other prizes if they say want some, but no takers yet!

And by “what ails ya” I am speaking of being tired.  I guess I should have typed “a cup for what makes you tired” but I thought my title was more interesting.  What is he talking about?  I am talking about that first cup of coffee in the morning!  This post, my second since my stroke, will be dedicated to COFFEE - that liquid that we can’t wake up to without each morning.

Actually, I am sipping from a cup right now.  It’s a manly cup of coffee – Cinnabon Bun flavored coffee.  But I’ve got a least 6 types in the fridge -I don't have bacon latte, though. I’ve tried to share my coffee addiction with the family, but they all say it smells like crap or mud or anything else that doesn’t sound appealing.  I’ve even offered cash or other prizes if they say want some, but no takers yet! I suppose I could put it in Lottie's sippy cup, after all she'll turn 1 this weekend, but I have friends who work in child protective services and it wouldn't look good they had to haul me off.

That first cup, or 5, really gets me going in the morning. The few mornings where I don't have that first cup you would think I had a stroke or something by the way I talk and stumble about...At any rate, I need my morning cup of joe. When I used to work, I would wait until I got into the office to have it. It was like drinking in a community with the people I would work with. The drivers behind me probably wished I would have had a cup before I got behind the wheel though.

The consumption of caffeine is actually not recommended for me. With my heart issues the last thing I need is bolt of caffeine running through my system. It's like Elmo having a shot of speed. Well, it is nothing like that but I got to work Elmo into the conversation. But I stop drinking it, or drink decaf, after my first half dozen or so cups. My middle name is “moderation,” after all. That reminds me, I have to tell you about the deep fried pork ribs I saw...

Just look at a line around Starbucks this morning, afternoon or night to see what I'm taking about. Iced coffee or hot coffee (I'll define the hot kind as CLASSIC COFFEE), people need their fix. Just a few days ago, I wrote a Facebook status update asking if 11:30 am was too late to brew a pot. The responses we're essentially that people keep a pot on all day and night. Then I realized that coffee is essential to the running of America. Kind of.

So, I have my Brewstation (where I just place the coffee mug underneath it to dispense my liquid crack) is running on empty. I guess that means I am done here, there was a whole lot I wanted to say, but I can't remember it. Hopefully I will soon. I need more coffee in the meantime and Lottie is holding her sippy cup up...maybe she's ready to taste the smooth delicacies of a fine crafted cup of java!




****please ignore any typos I have, my proofreading has taken a slip since my injury***

It's Flitch Day!!

I know none of you know what that means, but I'll tell you (in due time). First, this is the first blog post I've written in 6 ½ months. Since my stroke...I don't know if it will be funny, but I need to train my mind to write again. It's kinda like physical therapy , except it's for the mind...and you will be my guinea pigs.

I could write a lot... Me crashing 25 miles an hour on my brother's quad into a tree (proving I could ride it just 2 months after my stroke), my newfound fascination with Sesame Street, how long it takes me to write something, or how I can't work or drive... but that's all boring. So I will write about Flitch Day.

You're probably thinking that Flitch is a funny twitch, or a light switch (if you have a lisp). Flitch Day, is (are you ready)... a measurement in BACON. That's right, a measurement done with bacon. I guess you couldn't find a more fitting topic for me to start writing again. Wikipedia defines it as: a side of salted and cured pork. An entire side, like half of a pig. Wikipedia continues: The awarding of a flitch of bacon to married couples who can swear to not having regretted their marriage for a year and a day is an old tradition, the remnants of which still survive in some pockets in England.

We are owed 12 flitches, I think. Well, I probably should check with my wife. I can tell you that it's going to join my lexicon of daily definitions! Right next to “knock on laminate” and “I want to go to there.” In fact I have added flitch to my Word dictionary. It's bothered me since I started typing this how flitches would end up on my computer with a red line under it. Not any more!!

In fact, I think I will have a flitch for dinner. Maybe in a hamburger or maybe on it's own. Perhaps smoky or cured with maple syrup. But, it's too hot to toil over bacon in my kitchen and it would be a fire hazard to cook a flitch on the grill. Wait I've got it...I'll order flitch from a restaurant.  That way we would use someone else's flichten AC!!!!!