Ode to Match Game (Or even Match Game 76)

I love watching Match Game, that isn't so lame. Though some of your panelists were not very tame. There was Richard Dawson, always in the mood. That is until he joined the Family Feud.

And there was Brett Somers and Charles Nelson Reilly. They both could say just one thing, to make you go smiley (bear with me, I don't have a lot to work with here).

Dumb Dora got her blank stuck in a jar. You always had to be careful to not take it too far. On a card your answer you would quickly scribble. The only word I can think to rhyme with that is dribble.

The contestants would hesitate to say something dirty. Though Gene Rayburn would try by getting so flirty. With his long thin mic he'd laugh and he'd ask. After all, that was this man's task.

The panel was always so hip and so bold. Which is remarkable because they also were old. I can imagine they'd party with shag carpets and wine. They were so cool, almost before their time. They had great sayings and lots of word tricks. Especially on Match Game 76.

But alas, Gene Rayburn I'm not, that much is true. But I'll fill in the blank, if you'd give me a clue. Then maybe for once our answers would jive, even though your panelists are no longer alive...

The Top Ten things usually told to me at my 4th of July celebration

It's 4th of July weekend!! That means it's time for our annual extravaganza of food, fun, friends and yes - fireworks!! It's also the time of year when I tend to mess up all 4 of those things...

10. We tell you every year that there are no such things as Independence Day Carols!

9. Your dancing waters of fire’ extravaganza looks a lot like you're just spraying lighter fluid over the grill from different angles. Are you sure that’s safe? And next time will you please take the meat off the grill first.

8. I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to add lighter fluid to charcoal that comes already soaked in it. Well yes, I suppose you can see the flames from space…

7. Seriously, you aren’t going to stop playing that Lee Greenwood song over and over are you?

6. Well, it’s just that building an Independence Day Snow Man out of charcoal, ice and grass clippings seems a little messy, that’s all.

5. It’s usually a good idea to ask your guests first before turning on the sprinklers and announcing it’s time for the Traditional July 4^th Running Of The Sprinklers…

4. Uh, exactly how old is the eggnog in that punch bowl?

3. I really don’t think tying 10 sparklers together and throwing them in the air constitutes a ‘fireworks display.’ And no, yelling ‘look, a fireworks display’ doesn’t change that.

2. These pictures are going to be uploaded to Facebook with really stupid captions, aren’t they?

And the number one thing usually told to me at my 4^th of July celebration…

1. Is that bacon wrapped around my hot dog? And quit saying ‘that’s what she said!’